Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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