so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
