i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
