I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
