I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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