God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
