There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
