i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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