Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
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All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
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I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize