Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
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