Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
