idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
