We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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