she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
