True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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