I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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