I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
