Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
