i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
