someone threw a dead crab at me
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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