I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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