oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He felt like a one man threesome
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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