It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
