I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
