was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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