fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
