Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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