wake up i wanna do it froggy style
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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