new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
im having a threesome with these popsicles
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
its liver damage thursday
Randomize