i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
She's the barista slut.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
