you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Mom said you looked used
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I enjoy the company of your penis
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
