If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
