is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
