Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
