They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
