pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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