Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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