just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You are the jesus of drinking
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
