If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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