so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We need to get me chipped asap
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
