I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
