My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
