Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Randomize
