You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
