I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
