dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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