I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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