the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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