some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
