So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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