Im at strip club and am horny
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
