It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize
